When Irish Eyes WEREN'T Smiling

At the age of 19, (about 100 years ago), I was given my first opportunity to speak in front of a group of people. This opportunity was thrust upon me, as part of a Fire Service training course that I was undergoing, and as far as my instructors were concerned, was no big deal. For me however, they might as well have asked me to bungy-jump off the Empire State Building. I had never before, nor indeed since, felt such absolute terror. In my school days there was no such thing as Show and Tell, so I had never even stood in front of a group before, much less actually speak. The time I had been given to prepare for this wasnt much help either, I spent most of the previous night spewing and retching. Had anyone offered me a one-way ticket to Kabul, I would have gladly taken it.

I was determined to pass the course, however, having traveled all the way from Belfast to Birmingham to join the Fire Brigade. And if this was what the Fire Brigade wanted me to do, then so be it. My departure from sunny downtown Belfast had been only a week before and my accent was as broad as a milkmaids butt. So far I had learned to modify my vowels to some degree, so instead of saying meeyit for mate, I had learned the correct Birmingham pronunciation which is mite .

I have often heard the phrase Butterflies in the stomach, but these werent butterflies, these were hornets wearing hob-nail boots. So with knees really shaking, and stomach churning inside out, I stepped to the rostrum. I was about 20 words into my presentation when some wag at the back of the room shouted Speak English, will you.

I have re-lived this event a thousand times in my mind over the years, and I still cannot find the words to describe how totally devastated I felt. The little bit of confidence that I had managed to muster disappeared faster than a ferret down a rabbit hole, and I was left lost, stumbling and bumbling.

In all honesty, I dont remember a great deal about what actually happened, or how I even got back to my seat. I dont know if I finished the presentation, burst into tears or dropped my trousers and sang God Save the Queen. But in hindsight, I can now look back on it as one of the most potent and valuable lessons I have ever learned.

Some time later I joined the British Army, and underwent some of the finest training in the world, including a Methods Of Instruction course. When I became a Non-Commissioned Officer I also had to become a trainer, and I have since delivered hundreds of presentations to all sorts of audiences, military and civilian.

Have my hornets disappeared? No, not entirely. But as the years have passed they have metamorphosed into little furry beings wearing carpet slippers. I still like to have them around, like an old favourite sweater that I can take off once I warm up. They keep me motivated, they keep me sharp and they keep me always wanting to deliver my next presentation even more successfully.

If you want to know more about me, I'm at:

http://www.gettingrealseminars.com/Tom_Shaw.html

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Semi Formal Attires

Fashion has made semi formal attires luscious enough to make it a gate crasher for any event. It could be formal skirt or a pant teemed with a t-shirt or a cosy top that would make the entire attire semi-formal. So you can walk into office yet dress down.

This dress down policy is introduced in most MNCs and bigger Indian organizations that have embraced the fact that employees can get into something comfortable on weekends. It ushers in a casual atmosphere and employees are comfortable doing what they usually do.

Fashion designers and boutiques too have set up commercial houses to display the trends in semi formal attires. It is no more just a t-shirt and denim. Your choice could range from a short kurti, floral tops to casual tops with embroidery, or puff sleeves and completed by three fourth denims or pants in cotton and lycra. Straight fit denims, knee length floral umbrella cut skirts and more is on the table for you to pick and choose.

Semi formal attires have got a leg up from many ends and today it even walks on the fashion ramp. More and more designers are sketching this trend. Because it is something one would wear to work, an office party or a friends day out. It could be something as simple as a family get-together or just to chill out. Instead of going completely dressed down, today's generation prefers to go semi formal.

In fact the term has entered the bridal segment too. Some brides prefer to go semi formal in their d-day attires instead of going full frontal and carrying that heavy gown around. Even the relatives to a wedding can be seen wearing a semi-formal dress, if the invitation says so or if it is an outdoor do or a summer occasion.

Check out more on semi formal dresses, church dresses or plus size formal dresses on these links.

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Guide to Buying Swatch Watch Straps

First Things First: What strap will suit you?

Activities: Ask yourself, are you an active/sporty person, sweat a lot, need a flexible and tough watch band or do you need a watch which will complement your outfit?

How you use your swatch watch will determine what type of watch strap you should buy. Do not just buy straps based on the design and color but consider what, when and how you use your watch will be a crucial point in making that choice.

Secondly: What strap suit your watch?

This sounds like a silly question but it's really very important that your sporty watch don't get match with an elegant strap while your loud, color Swatch gets paired with a plain old leather strap.

Thirdly: Shall I buy the same strap I had been wearing before?

Yes, should you? You may go for this option almost immediately because it just seems right and logical to buy back the original strap (if you can find them) as it suits your watch well.

But you may prefer variety. Time for a change!

Another good reason for buying back the same strap is value. Consider someday you may want to sell off the Swatch watch. Do you know that having the original/same type of straps makes the value of your watch go up higher especially for potential collectors?

How many types of Swatch Watch Straps/Bands are there?

Basically, most of us think that there are three types of Swatch straps:

One: plastic
Two: leather
Three: Metal

Really? You would be surprised by the variety there is. Over at Squiggly website (a very good source for your swatch watches) there is a section for strap search.

Let's take an example of one tiny section labeled under Standard Gents.

Under this category you find 'standard' plastic straps

- 'standard' leather straps

- flex straps (elastic, metal straps. Comes in many colors and 2 sizes)

- flip lock strap (usually made of metal. Used mainly with Swatch Irony watches)

- elastic pop straps (only used for pop swatches)

- other straps

Woah. You may be thinking now "I should not have read this article it just confuses me more!" You maybe right there. Buying is most enjoyable relying on intuition and emotion rather than reason and rationality. However, if you find yourself in need or just curious and need more resources you can go to these sites (by no means comprehensive) below.

My site: Vintage Swatch Watch

Squiggly.com (mostly new watch bands).

About Me
Stefanie Blogs about a variety of things. You can find some of her sites about Swatch Watches Online Come and visit her!

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The Modern Citizen: Jeans In The Boardroom

Denim is one of the most viral fashion trends to hit us! Ostensibly an innocuous tendency, jeans have the ability to gradually take over your closet space virtually undetected, until its too late. Little did we know that one pair of True Religion jeans would multiply into multiple pairs of Citizens jeans, Seven for all mankind jeans, Hudson jeans, and even Frankie B. jeans. Just as denim has invaded each and every closet, denim takes over the soul. Why? Because designer jeans, with their slimming lines and sleek appearance, make us feel good!

Places that have not traditionally been denim friendly have been invaded. One theory is that price plays a huge part in bringing jeans into the boardroom. When your Citizens of humanity, True Religion jeans, and Seven for all mankind jeans have prices in the same range as your dress pants, youre bound to see a crossover. However, some brands are more boardroom friendly than others.

Clean dark washes tend to work the best when transforming a pair of jeans from casual to more formal wear. True Religion jeans in Bobby, and many of the more classic bodies of Citizens of humanity and Seven for all mankind jeans are quite adaptable when placed with the right top and accessories.

The versatility of denim almost certainly earns itself a permanent place in each and every one of our closets, and definitely an enduring presence in our fashion culture.

To shop for the brands in this article such as Citizens jeans or True Religion jeans, visit http://www.kultic.com.

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Dearfoams Women's DF119 Slippers

This pickstitch clog with tassels is made from microfiber suede and is perfect for lounging around the home or running outside to grab the newspaper. The durable sole provides solid support while the synthetic shearling lining provides soft comfort after a long day on your feet.

The present day Nyonya Wedding, can be described as "trying our best" to relived some gaiety and splendor of the good old days. When my daughter Uvaraani (of mixed parentage) was preparing for her wedding, we had to consider many factors. Reason being she has the opportunity to unite many Indian and Chinese cultures and traditions for her big day. We went through the Indian and Nyonya Chinese ceremonial rites with our elders, and boy were we in for some surprises.

Consulting the Elders

It was a great experience talking to some older Nyonya aunts who still remembers the good old days. The smells that triggers the memory leads us to consider reviving this hundred year old Nyonya or Peranakan heritage. Mostly the discussion was aimed at what can and can't be done in this present age as Nyonya on the whole, the culture and people are a dying breed. Ceremonials rites for the bride is endless.

Words like Kor Char Ay Lang (olden days people) and Tong Kim Ay Gee Nia (kids nowadays) seems like we are moving from "one extreme to another".

Olden Days Brides

In the days of our grandparents, the young girls were protected and hardly knows the outside world. The only times they were allowed to go outside is on "Chap Goh Mei". (15th day and last of Chinese New Year is to throw oranges into the sea, in the hope to get good husband).

They are dressed in the prettiest and with an entourage of older brothers and chaperon of protective hawks of old aunts. You can imagine how excited they will be when there is a marriage proposal, young and excited and obedient to their parents instruction. There is no falling in love for fear of marrying into the wrong class or society. Nyonya families even imported brides from China or sent their daughters to China to find husbands.

Those days the Straits Settlement Nyonya girls of marriageable age were taught to sew and cook. Sewing and embroidering items for personal use. She has to practice till she gets it right to prepare for her wedding ceremonies. And believe you me, it is a long list. For her wedding, personal items like lacy handkerchiefs, wardrobe that include her wedding gown. Items for wedding bedroom sets like pillow cases, bed hangings and decorative panels used in the bridal chamber.

Skills to Acquire

The most important item she has to learn is beadwork, using "manek" (beads) and sequins, making shoes, sandals and slippers. All this is part of showcasing that the bride is well taught and well bred. The prospective bride prepared a range of slippers to be presented as part of her wedding dowry, to the groom and his family. Even Emelda Marcos would have lost out in her showing off her collection of beaded shoes. Then a special pair must be made to be worn on the third day of the wedding, that is the day she comes to her father house for the banquet prepared for the groom and his entourage.

Present Thoughts and possibilities

How would we ever get an opportunity to have a Nyonya wedding ceremony as the girls are now working girls. They hardly had time to sew their beaded shoes, embroidered bedcovers and pillow cases, let alone her own wedding costume. A young Nyonya's worth as a bride is judged by her skills in beading, embroidery and proper upbringing as a classy Nyonya lady.

How do I ask my daughter whether she is a virgin to do the "Chiau Tau" (wearing a traditional gown to pay homage to ancestors announcing the wedding). She would have thrown a fit if I asked her that. Such remark would be considered abusing her right while in the old days, the parents has every right to dominate their children.

Some rites and rituals of the Nyonya Wedding

It would take twelve days to get married with all the customs and traditions to follow. Grooming the bride for the wedding takes a few days. Nearing wedding days, all needlework, sewing and embroidery of personal items and whatever you need for the bridal chambers must be completed.

The challenge to grooming the bride coupled with wedding blues are at its peak. If you happened to get a bride who is excited about the whole wedding proposal, it seems a happy occasion. There are times you get an unwilling bride as she is forced to marry for the sake of broadening her family heirloom or kongsi (clans) business.

"Quotes from Queeny Chang - Memories of a Nonya, pg 69:

She took me to our father's room and from the closet, drew out a photograph of a young man in traditional Chinese clothes wearing a close fitting black hat. He had good features but his strange clothes did not appeal to me. Sister Song Jin unwrapped a red silk handkerchief containing a pair of gold bangles engraved with Chinese characters. Pointing to the photograph, she said:

Song Jin: This is the man you are going to marry and these bangles are the tokens of your betrothal. Our uncle arranged this marriage three years ago when you were only thirteen.

Queeny: Is it our father's wish that I marry this man?

Song Jin: Little sister, you know that once one's word is given, one can't take it back.

Queeny: But it isn't our father word.

Song Jin: Our father had to listen to his elder brother and beside, the family Lim had done a big favor for our uncle. We must therefore show gratitude."

The Match Maker

Before any rites or rituals can be followed, a Seng Keh Mg (Match maker, one with a gift of the gab) must be hired. She bosses all around to ensure all rites and rituals are followed, if not she will be able to tell you the consequences of not listening to her. With that, she advised what is to be done and you jolly well follow.

Things she would advised include fixing the dates for all ceremonies like Sang Jeek Sang Jeek is gifts presentation day or dowry to the bride. The Bridal Bed arrangement include chamber pot placement, ornaments and silk curtains, oil lamps or candles to keep lighted before the wedding night is over.

A tray of sweet goodies for the newly weds to eat and to get to know each other. Hair combing Ceremony, prayers to Jade Emperor, Chneoh Tau, (purification ritual for virgin), ancestors worship and eating Glutinous rice balls without chewing and Kooi Bin (Face Threading).

She is the master of ceremonies and her main role in Tea Ceremony is calling relatives from the older generation till the youngest. She is even there as the bride wakes up in the morning to carefully fold the pajamas.

Having listen to all the good advises from my Nyonya elders, we decided to pick what is necessary term as important and doable for present day working Nyonya wedding.

Present Day Wedding Plans and Realities

For the parents and relatives, my daughter chooses to have the tea ceremony conducted by Penang Nyonya Heritage Wedding Planner Micheal Cheah. Same time we choose a traditional hundred over years old heavy embroidered wedding gown for performing the tea ceremony.

Same time, not to disappoint the Indian relatives, we combined both Indian and Chinese Nyonya tradition into her wedding. The day ended as a lifetime experience for the newly weds, parents and relatives.

We were glad we could combined an age old heritage Nyonya wedding into unique modern day affair.

Pearly lives in Penang, Malaysia. As a born and bred Penangite, she knows by heart the Nyonya and Indian culture which is described in this article. She is also the writer of http://www.my-island-penang.com in which she describes the many different cultural aspects and events of Penang. Apart of that she has reserved a substantial part of the website to her personal history on heritage, historic and cultural enclave.

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Dearfoams Women's DF440 Slippers

This yarn knit boot has a great textured sweater look, perfect for the cooler season and all day wear around the house. It has a loose fit around the lower calf, microfiber suede detail, and a flannel lining. The rubber outsole is skid resistant. For a similar construction in a clog look, check out DF442.

In my work with victims of narcissistic abuse I am more often than not asked the same question: "How do I know I'm not the Narcissist?"

When I asked my own therapist this question so many years ago she answered "If you were the narcissist you wouldn't be asking that question, because narcissist's won't see that the problem is with them." They are too busy projecting the issues onto those around them.

However our own narcissism is an issue worth exploring in more detail. For example: Why do we ask that question to begin with. What is it that makes us feel we are the narcissist?

In talking to a client today I had a big realization. She was telling me how she was always disappointed in her previous boyfriends or partners. They just didn't measure up to her expectations. As we dug a little deeper she explained how she has wavered between feelings of superiority and feelings of inferiority. She has built her own illusion or idea of who she was which in her own reality placed herself upon a pedestal. So in a sense she was doing the same thing a narcissistic personality would do. She sheltered herself from her feelings of inferiority by placing herself upon a pedestal. That pedestal created a false confidence.

So when the narcissistic personality comes into her life her false confidence is initially mirrored by the narcissist who reflects to her the image worthy of the pedestal she has placed herself upon. But as the relationship progresses her feelings of inferiority are triggered as he projects his own inferiority upon her. Now she is experiencing the feeling of having her mate disappointed in her inadequacy just as she has been disappointed in past partners for their inadequacy.

What is the difference than between the narcissistic partner and the one who feels abused? Compassion and Empathy! The client I was talking to today, identified with her partners feelings of superiority and also with his feelings of inadequacy. She had empathy for him. She didn't want to see him hurt because she knows how painful it is to experience those same kinds of feelings. A pathological narcissist could give a rip about his partners hurt feelings. He is only concerned with himself and his own needs.

The inverted narcissist, as Sam Vaknin calls it, is the perfect match for the pathological narcissist. Because when their false selves meet, the illusion of who they believe themselves to be is reinforced to a point where it may feel like Cinderella meeting her prince who takes her out of her hell hole, where she is made to wear rags and sweep ashes all day. Suddenly she is swept off her feet, she fits the glass slipper perfectly, and is carried off to the Castle adorned with beautiful gowns and riches fit for the queen she is.

Perhaps in this fairy tale, Cinderella always fantasized herself to be a queen, but she lived the reality of being an ash maiden. She was ridiculed and condemned by those around her and made to feel unworthy of the good things in life. But she would show them someday. She would show them she was really a queen.

For those of us who come from painful childhoods where we were somehow made to feel inferior, we can easily create fantasy worlds where we escape into never never land. We imagine ourselves as fairy princesses and imagine our prince riding up on a white horse and sweeping us off our feet, carrying us from our humble reality to a great castle where we are treated as a queen should be treated.

In the psychic realm the psychosis of the pathological narcissist is a great match for the fantasy world of the inverted narcissist. Because in the world of make believe a great fantasy is created where the King and the Queen of never never land get together and ride off into the sunset. It is such a beautiful love story, in the beginning.

But all glass slippers eventually break and so do the glass houses the "ideal" couple reside in. There love is not built on anything real, but rather an illusion of perfection created by both parties. She is saying "be my prince" and he is saying "be my queen." But once they settle into the Castle the true selves begin to emerge. The feelings of inferiority begin to surface. Both partners don't really want to be found out, less they risk losing their status upon that pedestal. "What if she finds out I'm really a frog?" He might think. And she might wonder "what if he knows the truth of me, that I'm only an ash sweeper?"

The narcissistic dance is really a dance of ego's. It is an escape from the true self. For the true self has never been discovered and cultivated. The narcissistic facade is a preservation of the ego that needs to appear larger than it is. From that wounded little child he inflates his lowly sense of self into something others would envy. He strives for greatness, not for the sake of the task but for revenge against those who would mock him for his inferiority.

We see this scenario played out often in the movies where the ugly geek grows into the beautiful swan or the handsome prince and is the envy of those who used to taunt him. But inside he may still feel like the ugly duckling. A true pathological narcissist is so clever at hiding from that ugly duckling within that he hides it from himself. He is no longer really aware of those feelings. He is cut off from them. Where his victim is likely very much in touch with those feelings. She feels the depth of the pain being triggered by his poor treatment and lack of consideration for her. It triggers all those feelings of unworthiness that she has been running from most of her life.

If the inverted narcissist doesn't grab this opportunity for self-reflection and personal growth she will likely just fall back into her old ways and re-create a similar scenario. But the opportunity is there for a great transformation. One that comes from truly embracing the self and becoming real! We peel away the layers of who we are not and cultivate the truth of who we are. This begins with embracing that little wounded child who has been rejected, taunted, teased and made to feel inferior in so many ways. We can begin by having compassion for that child within in the same way we found ourselves having compassion for the narcissist in our lives.

Once we own that rejected part of ourselves there is no longer a need to hide her from the world behind a fantasy illusion. We no longer need to be seen as "the queen" but are alright with just being ordinary. Ironically once we accept our ordinary-ness we actually do begin to stand out, for real. Because we stop trying to be something we are not and start accepting who we really are. Our true selves always carry the greatest light.

As I work with more and more victims of narcissistic abuse I begin to see Narcissism as the catalyst for personal transformation. The narcissistic abuse spirals us into our deepest, most fragile aspect of self, the wounded, rejected child within. I used to believe we were just taking on the projection of the narcissist, but I'm coming to realize this isn't true. This is the very part of the narcissist we identify with. He too has the same cast away, lost, rejected inner child, covered over by an illusion of grandiosity. So our work is not to simply stop taking on the projections of the narcissist in our lives, but rather allowing ourselves to make that decent into the deepest, darkest places within our psyche and rescuing that rejected child within.

Ironically once we accept our inadequacies, we no longer feel so inadequate. We come to understand that nobody is perfect, including us. We make mistakes, we have faults, we have areas where we are ashamed of ourselves, and now we simply admit these realizations to ourselves. Instead of taking the inventory of the narcissist in our lives we take our own inventory and list the areas where we have deceived ourselves. When we finally see that being imperfect is being real, we accept ourselves just the way we are and stop trying to be something we are not.

Becoming real is a process. I call it growing up. We peel away those layers of who we are not, in order to refine who we really are. And...we come to see ourselves as beautiful even with our flaws. In actuality it is our flaws that make us unique and beautiful. Perfection is the illusion!

We may be angry initially that we are cast into the deep pain of self reflection and personal growth while the narcissist is off in another fairy tale; but instead of envying him for his ignorance, we should instead thank him for the gift he has given us. He has brought us to our true selves. The pain of discovery may be great initially, but it is well worth the journey, because now we can truly live and we can truly love. Once we accept the imperfections in ourselves we can accept the imperfections of our future mates and have a much greater opportunity for real love.

Kaleah LaRoche is an Author, Holistic Counselor, Minister and Musician. She specializes in Spiritual Recovery for the Victims of Narcissistic Abuse. Kaleah has written two books on narcissism and abuse that she offers as downloads from her Website. She also offers lots of free information, a support forum, soul recovery and counseling. To learn more about Kaleah's work visit her Website: http://www.narcissismfree.com

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Dearfoams Women's DF124

Find total comfort in this easy-to-wear Dearfoams slide slipper. Plush fabric upper in a backless scuff slipper style with a fabric piping-trimmed toe seam, quilted stitching accents and fabric lining. Fabric topped cushioning footbed. Flexible midsole. Flat traction indoor outsole.

Bring yourself to Rome which is known as the eternal city to whole universe. In this city you can find a perfect abundance of historical treasures everywhere. The city offers a lot of luxurious hotels and restaurants to its visitors by paying a warm welcome and making a comfortable stay. So book a room at Rome Hotels and enjoy your stay.

Hotel Le Royal Meridien Eden Rome is one of the famous hotels of Rome. The hotel was Established in 1889. The rooms are richly decorated with wall hangings, curtains and Romanian handcraft bed sheets, Satellite television, free internet connection, telephones, hair dryers and other modern equipments. Besides these the restaurants are having marble bathrooms include gilded mirrors, bathrobes, slippers, and complimentary toiletries.

The Royal Meridien Hotel is well known for its frequent visits paid by world famous celebrities, great politicians and leaders. The great Italian cuisines and wine make the guests delightful. The multilingual 24- hour front desk staff can provide room service around the clock and arrange dry-cleaning services. Valet parking is available for guests arriving by car.

Hotel Eden of Rome has an exclusive array of spa and fitness centres. The resort is also having numerous bars. In evening hours you can enjoy the live piano music with a cup of coffee, tea or pre-dinner drinks. This luxury hotel of Rome also serves the cuisines from whole through the world.

Grand Hotel Olympic is located just a few steps away from the Vatican City museums. This luxury hotel is also near to some of the tourists destinations of Rome. The rooms are elegantly decorated with well furnished furniture, fine arts and other modern antiquities. You can also get a proper guidance of the tourist places from the concerned staff of the restaurant.

The grand hotel also has the facility of a nice lobby lounge and offers drinks complimentary buffet breakfast. Grand Hotel Olympic is set between the Vatican City and Piazza del Popolo, within walking distance of the main points of interest in Rome. The hotel is a right place for leisure and business travelers.

Looking for Rome Hotels Italy? We have best hotel room rates for Hotel Le Royal Meridien Eden Rome and Grand Hotel Olympic.

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Dearfoams Men's Penn State University Clog

Johnny couldnt believe it, but he actually felt nervous. Sahara, the love of his life was taking him to meet her father who was the leader of an ancient sect of Jewish mystics who practiced a religion called Kabala. It was a meeting of the old and the new, which would not go well for Sahara or Johnny. The setting was an old stone house surrounded by a high yellow limestone wall in the village of Ez in the South of France. Johnny felt like he had been taken back in time to medieval days. Sahara introduced them and was immediately interrupted by her father, who was dressed in a black velvet robe and faded grey slippers.

Rabbi Fabren, a short thin man with piercing blue eyes, said, Greetings young man, who are you to claim to be a prophet? What do you know? Have you studied the ancient texts and leaned the wisdom of our ways? What gives you the right to claim that you have divine guidance and a new religion to share with us? My daughter has told me about you.

Johnny was taken aback, but managed to mumble, I came here to discus my love for your daughter, not my Dialectic Rationalization of Materialism religion or my status as a prophet. What I know, I know from God, and His words of wisdom are more important than anything your old rituals can tell us.

Blasphemy, shouted the Rabbi. Kabala is the word and way of God. Who are you to question what you do not even understand? Who are you to question the true meaning of our ancient religion? I will never give you my blessing to marry my daughter. You are an infidel a non-believer. It is forbidden

With this Sahara started to cry. She turned to her father and took his hand and said, Please listen to my Johnny. I have heard his words of wisdom. They only add glory and wisdom to our religion. We can combine the old and the new to achieve Gods will. I believe this to be so. Please hear my Johnny out.

The old Rabbi seemed shocked at his daughters plea. He was used to total unquestioning obedience from his daughter. He started to tremble and said, All right, all right, I will listen. I am not to old to learn, but I will not hear anything that goes against the word of God as it was written in our ancient texts. I will not let this young upstart of yours denigrated centuries of true belief and worship.

And so began a discourse that went on and on through the night. The old fanatic and the young fanatic argued over everything of a religious nature that one could conceive of. The only thing the old Rabbi eventually agreed to was that Johnny could become engaged to his daughter if he studied the ancient texts of Kabala, and he insisted that if they were to marry it would be in a ceremony at which he himself officiated, and would include all the old religious rituals that he held so dear.

Johnny was exhausted and said, Whatever makes my Sahara happy. Thats okay with me. God will be my witness to the sanctity of this ceremony so I dont care what you do or say old man. You will see. You will see the hand of God bless my union with your daughter. I am a prophet and I know this to be true.

MLMF (More later my friends)

Hi, I am Arthur Levine, the author of the novel Johnny Oops. To read more about Johnny and his wild escapades please access: http://johnnyoops.blogspot.com

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Dearfoams Men's Penn State University Slipper

Paris. Considered by many as the most beautiful city in the world, trying to condense the French capital into a list of '10 things to do' is one of life's impossibilities. So as to avoid insulting your intelligence, boring you, or writing the same article as every other online guide to Paris, the Eiffel Tower has been emitted from the list. Because, let's face it, we know you're going to visit the Eiffel Tower. You're in Paris; it's the law. But if you're stuck for a few other ideas, then try this list for starters.

1. The Louvre

Yes, it maybe just as cliched as the Eiffel Tower, but leaving it out would simply be unthinkable. Not only is The Louvre one of the world's finest palace's and a breathtaking example of French architecture, it also just happens to contain some of the world's finest artwork. Established in 1973, the Louvre represented to the public everything that was good about the French Revolution, and has been drawing in tourists and admirers ever since, with recent figures suggesting well over 5 million annual visitors. And with pieces such as Da Vinci's renowned Mona Lisa, it should come as no surprise. If you're in Paris for the week, although it may not be practical, the Louvre could probably entertain you for the full seven days. And if a week long art binge doesn't exactly constitute fun for you, visit for the day at least, even if it is only to re-enact your favourite scene from the Da Vinci Code, usually much to the embarrassment of the rest of your party.

2. La Promenade Plante

it is widely acknowledged that a trip to Paris does wonders for your calves, with extensive walking unavoidable. And 'La Promenade Plante' doesn't do much to prevent this. At 4.5km long, it is the world's only (and therefore longest) elevated park, and is perhaps the most imaginative and picturesque way of dealing with an unused railway line. The walkway is lined with flowers, and provides brilliant and often intrusive views into the local neighbourhood. And in true Parisian style, the arcades below were not left to be vandalised by graffiti writing hoods. No, they were transformed into arts and crafts workshops. A beautiful afternoon's entertainment for all.

3. La Grande Arche de La Defense

In stark contrast to the classic architecture of the Louvre is 'La Grande Arche', a 110m high homage to the French's heroic (yet failed) resistance of the Prussians in 1870. The structure consists of mainly concrete although is covered with marble and glass for an ultra-modern feel, and a glass elevator will take you straight to the top. From there, panoramic views of the city provide priceless photo opportunities of the distant Arc de Triomphe, the model for La Grande Arche's construction, and the Louvre itself, although those a little conscious of heights may find themselves quickly calming their nerves in the hotel bar. Best seen by night when the city is at its twinkling best, it's a dazzling way to spice up a day of navigating through the tight streets of the old city.

4. Sabbia Rosa

A city with a street dedicated to underwear shopping would usually be considered a little out of the ordinary, but we're talking about Paris here, where the unexpected is always on the menu. So if you find yourself on La Rue Des Saints P'res, then prepare to flash the plastic and overhaul your underwear draw completely. If there's one thing the most romantic city in the world does better than anywhere else, it's make knickers. And in madam Sabbia Rosa's, you have one of the best in the business. She was sewing lingerie before you were even thought of, so its no surprise she attracts customers such as Madonna and Kate Moss on a regular basis. But with that clientele, Madame Rosa can afford to set prices a little higher than the normal shop sale, so make sure you've got your chequebook before you start trying things on.

5. Cruise on the Seine

We've established that walking and Paris go hand in hand, but there is a slightly more luxurious (and lazy) way to see the city in its full glory. A cruise down the River Seine, often accompanied by a high quality meal and an equally high quality glass of wine, is a brilliant and unique way to admire the city's often stunning architecture. With views of the Eiffel Tower, the Louvre, the Musee d'Orsay and Notre Dame as well as the added bonus of not actually having to move very far, it all makes for a delightful evening's entertainment.

6. Arc de Triomphe

Situated at the top of the Champs-Elysees, you would do well to miss the Arc de Triomphe, perhaps Paris's most famous sight after the Eiffel Tower. This architectural masterpiece was built in recognition of the French's military victories during the Revolutionary and Napoleonic periods, the names of which are engraved across the Arch's summit. A small museum inside details the history and construction of the Arch, the biggest of its kind in the world, and also provides access to the top where the views of the city are worth the entry fee alone. Avoiding the Arch on July 14 would be advisable as it is the starting point for the Bastille Day parade, as would steering clear on any Sunday of the same month, allowing you to avoid the flurry of tired cyclists completing the final leg of the Tour de France. But perhaps the greatest thing about the Arch, what makes it so iconically French, is that it was commissioned by Napolean in honour of himself. And you were always told the French were arrogant.

7. Les Catacombes

It's probably a little more than just a coincidence that the junior members of your party, those who complain about walking to the car, will surprisingly ask to pick up the pace as you tour 'Les Catacombes', the underground network of Roman passageways converted to accommodate millions of corpses as Parisian cemeteries became saturated in the 17th and 18th Centuries. Les Catacombes consists of no fewer than six million skeletal beings, who will watch you every step of the way as you go. It is also the spot the French Resistance chose as their headquarters in World War II, although it probably did little to lighten the mood set by the swarms of advancing Germans. For an alternative peek into the city's history, Les Catacombes is a must see, although it may be the stuff of nightmares for those with a slightly over active imagination. Or those who find 6 million pairs of hollow eye sockets staring in their direction a little disturbing.

8. The Night Clubber Special

For those who think anywhere outside of their local is an adventurous Saturday evening, the Eurostar Night Clubber Special might not be for you. But for the rest of you eager party animals, it most definitely is. Like a modern Cinderella story without any glass slippers and set to a lot of dance music, you'll have to leave London after 4.30 pm and be back before 10.30 am the following morning, often sleepless and linguistically confused. When in Paris, try clubs such as Queen and Redlight for a more mainstream insight into the local scene, and the Sunday morning 'after party' sessions will take you right through to your train home. And at a very reasonable 35 for return tickets, booking in advance is the only way to secure your seat for this unique clubbing experience.

9. Notre Dame

If this list was to be written in any specific order of importance, then Notre Dame cathedral would feature much, much higher. Commissioned by Bishop Maurice de Sully in 1163, Notre Dame is one of the finest examples of Gothic architecture in Europe today, and recent restorations mean it's looking as good as ever. Oh, and it also happens to be the religious centre of the city and home of Paris's Archbishop, hence deserves an absolute double underlining on your itinerary. The gargoyles are as leering as expected, and often even the most adamant of atheists comment on the inexplicable and eerie atmosphere of calm and hush which hits as you enter. Notre Dame may not be for the children (unless of course yours are into Gothic architecture and intense religious feelings), but must not, at any cost, be missed out on your trip. And if your kids complain, sit them in Berthillon over the road and let them loose on Paris's most famous ice cream parlour, where asking for 'chocolate flavour' is like asking for alcohol in an off license.

10. Wine tasting

Like their lingerie making and their building designing, there are things the French do better than anybody else. And fortunately for you, winemaking is one of them. There are numerous places across the city where you can learn about and more importantly sample some of the country's finest wines, straight from the vineyards of Burgundy and Champagne. Places such as O'Chateau are great for a day out with friends or even corporate events, and they usually let you take home a few bottles of what you sampled. And what's more, you will now be able to make very loud statements in your local off license about how the '72 has much more je ne sais quoi to it than the 73', only this time you'll actually understand what you're talking about.

Out of all the capital cities Tomas Jones has been to, of which there are many, Paris is up there at the very top of his list. When not dreaming about strolling along the banks of the Seine, Tomas writes prolifically for On The Beach who offer all sorts of cheap Paris city breaks with hotels in Paris and flights from airports throughout the United Kingdom and Ireland.

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I love addressing Americans' fears about Mexico. If Americans are not thinking of every migrant worker, illegal or legal, as a potential serial killer, drug smuggler, or terrorist, then they are imagining all manner of misfortune and dangers that just have to abound in the country of Mexico itself.

As I have discussed in a previous column, in 2003, Mexico had 13 murders for every 100,000 persons. That is for the WHOLE country! This was the same murder rate for the state of Louisiana for the same year.

You risk, by living in America, not only being done in by some serial killer (76% of the world's serial killers live in America) but you may find yourself making a trip to the local emergency room for various reasons. None of which, I am sure, you would want you mother to know about.

Americans keep statistics about everything. It is astounding at what you can find that Americans record about their own behavior. I wish it were this easy to find statistics about Mexicans. They tend NOT to record statistics of bizarre events as Americans are inclined to do.

In a little gem called The Statistical Abstract of the United States, you can read all kinds of statistics about almost anything you can imagine. Some of them are entertaining.

This work of fun facts to show and tell came to my attention via Bill Bryson, author of I'm a Stranger Here Myself , where he mentions this collection of facts. Read this man's book(s). It is hysterical! I am begging you to buy his book(s) so when he learns I stole his idea he won't sue me (buy, buy, buy).

Anyway, this statistical work has a section called Injuries Associated with Consumer Products. It shows that danger in America is not only lurking in the form of violent crime but evidently, Americans are at risk in all sorts of venues. For example, you can be at risk in your own bed.

More than 519,000 Americans have to go to their local emergency rooms yearly from injuries associated with their beds. Get this: more people injure themselves yearly from their beds than they do on trampolines (91,870 yearly from trampolines).

Are you even able to comprehend this little fact? I am powerless to do so. What can this mean? Are that many people falling out of or tripping over their beds? Perhaps their bed entry method sends them bouncing off it like a trampoline and out a window they fly. Maybe they need getting-into-bed re-education therapy. Maybe Americans are confused and think beds are a trampoline. I just do not know!

Just look at this breakdown and remember--these are people whose injuries are so severe that they have to get to an emergency room immediately:

Household containers and packaging--220,118

Tables-310,121

Televisions-47,210

Footwear-118,501

Jewelry-76,327

Now follow closely:

More Americans injure themselves yearly from their viciously snapping and snarling Tupperware containers than from a hand or power saw (a mere 98,872 injuries yearly). Tables are more dangerous to Americans than hammers (43,055 go to the ER for hammer injuries). Televisions are also problematic for Americans (imagine that!) as is jewelry.

But, what I would like to know is just how in God's name do Americans suffer 118,501 yearly injuries from their footwear? I never realized that shoes or house slippers could be that dangerous. How does this happen? If any of my readers have ever had to go to the emergency room because of their shoes, please e-mail me at guillermobower@hotmail.com. I want to hear all about it!

It may surprise you that more Americans go packing off to the hospital over Household Furnishings than from Sports and Recreation Equipment each year.

I think I am safer in Mexico than in the United States. What do you think?

Mexican Living Print and eBooks - What You Need To Know When Traveling or Planning To Live in Mexico.