At the age of 19, (about 100 years ago), I was given my first opportunity to speak in front of a group of people. This opportunity was thrust upon me, as part of a Fire Service training course that I was undergoing, and as far as my instructors were concerned, was no big deal. For me however, they might as well have asked me to bungy-jump off the Empire State Building. I had never before, nor indeed since, felt such absolute terror. In my school days there was no such thing as Show and Tell, so I had never even stood in front of a group before, much less actually speak. The time I had been given to prepare for this wasnt much help either, I spent most of the previous night spewing and retching. Had anyone offered me a one-way ticket to Kabul, I would have gladly taken it.
I was determined to pass the course, however, having traveled all the way from Belfast to Birmingham to join the Fire Brigade. And if this was what the Fire Brigade wanted me to do, then so be it. My departure from sunny downtown Belfast had been only a week before and my accent was as broad as a milkmaids butt. So far I had learned to modify my vowels to some degree, so instead of saying meeyit for mate, I had learned the correct Birmingham pronunciation which is mite .
I have often heard the phrase Butterflies in the stomach, but these werent butterflies, these were hornets wearing hob-nail boots. So with knees really shaking, and stomach churning inside out, I stepped to the rostrum. I was about 20 words into my presentation when some wag at the back of the room shouted Speak English, will you.
I have re-lived this event a thousand times in my mind over the years, and I still cannot find the words to describe how totally devastated I felt. The little bit of confidence that I had managed to muster disappeared faster than a ferret down a rabbit hole, and I was left lost, stumbling and bumbling.
In all honesty, I dont remember a great deal about what actually happened, or how I even got back to my seat. I dont know if I finished the presentation, burst into tears or dropped my trousers and sang God Save the Queen. But in hindsight, I can now look back on it as one of the most potent and valuable lessons I have ever learned.
Some time later I joined the British Army, and underwent some of the finest training in the world, including a Methods Of Instruction course. When I became a Non-Commissioned Officer I also had to become a trainer, and I have since delivered hundreds of presentations to all sorts of audiences, military and civilian.
Have my hornets disappeared? No, not entirely. But as the years have passed they have metamorphosed into little furry beings wearing carpet slippers. I still like to have them around, like an old favourite sweater that I can take off once I warm up. They keep me motivated, they keep me sharp and they keep me always wanting to deliver my next presentation even more successfully.
If you want to know more about me, I'm at:
http://www.gettingrealseminars.com/Tom_Shaw.html
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